Some people just have all the luck. Unfortunately, sometimes that luck is quite profoundly bad. Take, for example, the protagonist of Stephenie Meyer’s “Three Down One To Go!” novel Eclipse. Third in the Twilight Saga, it almost serves as a perfect example of why you don’t fall in love with supernatural creatures. Bella, the abovementioned protagonist, has just come off from summer break after rescuing her one-true-vampire-love, and is now really bursting at the seams in her attempts to join her beloved (Edward Cullen) in immortality vis a vis being turned into a member of the anti-sunlight league.

At this point in the three-book-long plot arc, Bella becoming a vampire sounds like a great idea. Not only has the Cullen family promised the Volutri vampire law enforcement that they will turn or kill Bella because she “knows too much” (cue creepy thunder effect), but also because there is a renegade vampire hell-bent for leather on extracting against Bella revenge for the death of the rogue’s mate. Of course, it wouldn’t be interesting in there weren’t some real conflict, so Bella and the Cullens have to deal with a pack opf vampires that, due to some mystiuc legends and the archetypes presented by every vampire story ever, are the sworn enemies of all bloodsuckers. Even if those bloodsuckers, like the Cullen family, deliberately do not attack humans and go hunting for deer and mountain lions and a whole range of former Disney characters. The vampires and werewolves have an uneasy truce that allows both the live in resentful harmony, but this truce prevents the Cullens from biting anyone. Even if that bite is to save one of the vampires’ twit of a girlfriend from becoming the victim of a vampire power trip.

So here is Edward, torn between preserving the truce (and his girlfriend’s humanity, a commodity he has a almost insanely high regard for), and cementing the immortal bonds of love with his beloved Bella. Thnking himself quite clever, he comes up with the idea of having Bella marry him first, trying to use Bella’s fear and loathing of marriage (based on experience with he parents) to stall the time at which he has to bite her. Bella agrees to the idea of getting married at 19, and at the point that they would start happily planning immortality together, the rogue vampire with blood revenge on the brain shows up and starts making a mess of things. The werewolves and vampires extend their truce to a joint venture in the protection of Bella, since both sides have such a vested interest in her, and the vampiress is swiftly apprehended with a decent amount of suspense and derring-do. It comes out the Bella has agreed to marry Edward, and Bella’s old werewolf friend, Jacob (who has a very romantic inclination toward our young heroine) goes howling off into the night to morun his lot in life. The book ends with the beginning of preparations for the wedding, giving the Saga its biggest cliffhanger ending to date.

Despite my harsh descriptions above, I actually quite liked this volume of the Twilight Saga. It had a good balance of action to drama, kept up Meyer’s more than adequate writing style, and moved the plot closer and closer to that penultimate event looming since halfway through book one, that of Bella’s joining the vampire race.

I will admit I’m facing a struggle here as to whether I should critique the book itself or the hordes of teenagers who think this series is the pinnacle of the english language. I’m going to lean in favor of reviewing the book, but the words I have for the scremaing hordes will be heard at a later date.

One of the definite problems I had with this book, character-wise, is that Bella has yet to show any decisions bearing the mark of real matury. She is making decisions that are entirely appropriate given her emotional state, but that isn’t maturity per se. I wouldn’t be making such a big deal out of this, except she is using her emotional state to decide whether she should get married or become a vampire. My review of thie final book might will expand upon this, and my review of the sereis as a whole will mkae some definite motions that way, but that’s it for today. Keep reading!